People dont deserve shit. i walk into MC gallery last night and was so happy to see nigger art in my hood. Jonathan hernandez cleared gallery empty but left 1 single dummy punch molded in wall. "el fin". spanish for the end. I walk around to other galleries. LAX is FUCKING terrible i want to eat someone skull. I race to blum and poe and sandori.rey to see boring sketches that might be good but dont have patience for then see bad video art in storage container. im getting warm with every beer and run past through the shit painting galleries brushing against stupidty left and right and more and more i understand hatred in daniel day lewis character in there will be blood. I cannot continue doing this with all these people. If i can use these people to create my fame and fortune, only to have them eat my shit, smeared across like 2 girls in a cup. There will be blood. Perhaps not now. But yes.
I walk into the light box and see the aesthetics of software. I hate art that makes me look at new things in same old way. A buck of shit is a bucket of shit. porn is porn. food is food. painting is painting. Decoration. get the fuck out and make art. stupid ass shit. Maybe corey archangel for a second. but he needs to get his ass beat and make nigger software art. I walk outside and see buckets of beer. i think of getting car and stealing whole thing. then i think i should steal all beer from galleries. anyone want to help next gallery fag hag opening.
I pass by mandrake and get beer inside. why not. even if of mandrake threat me to kick my ass. Thank you for serving me beer. I dont hate your bar. i hate the people in it. I wish none of them success. i see nothing in them but boredom, laziness, spoiledness, stupidity, and cowards. lazy cowards fumbling power like teenage virgins. give me just an inch, just an inch. I can take you there.
Spending some much time alone around people only makes me mad and envious of life. I call cocaine girl on my way home. She is surprised to hear from me. weeks since we chattted. I go over her house in silveralke for first time. Her apartment looks dull and lonely without roomate. she knows im there for obvious. its just before midnight on saturday and still time to maybe see night, get a drink and make her feel like i spent time with her, like life is happening and she is having fun. But drag her into room and we make out and she says shes on period. And i hesitate and think thats ok. but maybe not. she starts giving me head. and this time she didnt give me coke so dick is really hard. all hate is condensed to dick. the little slut just let me walk in and put dick in mouth, so i treat her like whore in german throat fuck porn. i fuck her face and she pulls up gagging and i continue, pushing to see when she make me stop and go home. make go home bitch. realize you are a whore and stop me. stop me. but she didnt. she slurped like a champion for 10 minutes before cumming in mouth and she eat. next thing i remember is her roomate coming home with friend. i put pants on and she is looks embarrassed in front of roomate. she want me out but dares not bring it up or make it seem like i just used her. very awkward moment, so i just say bye and walk out. 30 minute pit stop.
That moment driving home i realize i never have pretty girl with nice smile that makes heart warm. thats not me and thats not her. we are not them, that couple. we lost that. that was yesterday. too late. its too fucking late. bitch where are you, i want your suicidal dream inside me. lets rip each other to shit. lets quite this all together between me and you and everyone else. Bitch come to me.
